When someone is grieving, there are some stages that one has to go through in order to come to terms with the situation and to get healing like:
- Denial and shock- this is the first stage when someone receives the bad news. The first reaction is to get shocked because you probably did not expect it to happen and later on deny because you simply do not believe that it happened. This can last for weeks as the denial helps one to avoid the pain while the shock acts as a form of emotional protection.
- Guilt and pain- after sometime, the shock begins to wear off and this is taken over by unbelievable pain. This is usually excruciating and can sometimes become unbearable. It is important to feel the pain in full instead of avoiding or escaping from it with things like drugs or alcohol. Guilt comes about when you think that there is something you could have done to avoid the loss especially if you were not near the deceased when they needed you. Life is usually very scary and chaotic at this point.
- Bargaining and anger- all the frustrations that you may be feeling usually turn out to be anger and you may find yourself laying unwarranted blame or lashing out on someone and pinning the death on them. This is a great time to release any emotions you many have inside and try to practice anger management as it many lead to the destruction of relationships. This is also the point where you ask too many questions and you can even try to make some promises that you will stop doing something if only the departed can come back again.
- Reflection, depression and loneliness- this comes in when you realize that it has already happened and you plunge into a long period of reflection that is most likely to overtake you. At this point you might sense a feeling of despair or emptiness and you might want to isolate yourself from other individuals as no amount of consoling or encouragement can help.
- Upward turn- this is where you begin to pick up the pieces and you adjust your life to be more organized and calmer. The depression usually becomes lighter and the physical symptoms also begin to subside.
- Working through and reconstruction- this is the stage where the mind starts functioning normal again. This means that you become more independent and you can use practical solutions to solve the problems you have without the help of your loved one. At this point, you can go back to work and life can continue without too much pressure.
- Hope and acceptance- this is the last stage where you learn to deal and accept the harsh reality. This however does not mean that you become happy instantly but because of the turmoil and pain you have faced, you will be able to go back to the person you were before the tragedy.
It is important to go through all the stages of grieving if you want to ever experience joy and continue with life normally.
